foresty
i did this with a reference and made the colors all dreamy cause greenery is the dreamery
Shahira Yusuf by Gustavo Papaleo for The Observer Magazine , Sep 2018
intrepid-inkweaverI think a lot about an article that I read that said our brains can't really tell the tell the difference between our relationships with real people and with fictional ones, so watching a favourite show can make you less lonely, etc. And we also mourn the deaths of favourite characters in pretty much the same way we would mourn real people.
Remembering that makes me feel less silly about going through a whole-ass grieving process for a character.
intrepid-inkweaverMy attitude towards art tutorials: Thank you teacher, I will attempt to emulate your wisdom.
My attitude towards writing advice: Bitch, I do what I want.
I've left fandoms for less than staying on this site asks you to put up with. Sometimes the only reason I don't deactivate is simply bc an object at rest will stay at rest. And that's where I'm at here. I don't post enough to feel like I can critique it too much. And usually, it's really quiet and I feel like it's easier to think and exist without millions of other voices drowning you out. Maybe I even like that it's not a super active site yet.
But one thing I do have experience with enough to make an opinion, is that in what was described for what happened on discord, and how this person was reprimanded, it should have been made explicitly clear through an announcement or something of the like that matters were being handled, and that that behavior wasn't acceptable. That's not asking you to "parade the criminal". That's making people feel safe and making it clear that no one is above the rules and the consequences of them. You don't even have to say what the punishment was. But if it's notable that a lot of people saw no visible action against the person..... That's not responsible as a server owner. And I've run discord servers for actual years at this point. I know what I'm talking about.
(That's not even mentioning that Discord should not be required to be heard on what happens to the site, or to be able to enjoy it. We joined a website, and if we wanted to join a discord server, we would have done that instead.)
on frustration with Waterfall development
babushka1. Where does frustration with the site development come from?
Waterfall is a nice functional site with decent people on it, it has some neat features, doesn't lag terribly, and doesn't allow creeps on it. However, it's still underdeveloped, and you can't deny it. There's no fast reblog, the queue is set up for two days forward for no apparent reason, I can't write a text box, a message, or create a page without encountering some bugs. These issues are currently being worked on at a steady pace, and we have all agreed to wait until those are solved because we understand the struggles of one man behind this unexpectedly huge project. Most people I know aren't frustrated with how fast the site is developing. However, there is no set in stone date people can look forward to, and all the existing deadlines keep getting delayed, which create some frustration for some of us.
The frustration arises when people start talking about some new global features, or the overhaul of the old, already existing ones, and the way those discussions are being handled. As I see, people on the staff side experience concerns with the way some of the current systems work in the way that they're not very "beneficial for the site" in terms of newcomers, which is frustrating for staff, too. As someone who doesn't see the site from the inside, I often assume that the most trouble newcomers are having are the same troubles I am having, and a lot of them might disappear after the second update. However, the discussion of possible overhauls of big systems that people are currently allegedly misusing creates the illusion that those overhauls will happen and form a new direction for the site. Even if nothing is being implemented right now, people are starting to worry as if though the changes are already being implemented because they are being talked about.
They're mostly being talked about on discord, where it's easy to take stuff completely out of context since a lot of messages are happening at the same time, and the information is easily missed. This leads people to wrong conclusions from time to time and causes more frustration. Also, discord is not something everyone has, visits regularly, or even is aware of, because of multiple valid reasons, including mental health ones. So, some frustration from my side roots in me seeing staff blog say something like "I've talked to people on discord on it and they say it's fine so we will do it" while me not being aware the discussion even happened or that I could join it. I've only seen it happen once, however, so this is more of an exception, but I thought it still is worth mentioning.
In this part of the post, I've covered my perspective on where the frustration comes from. The second part of the post will be about how it is expressed and handled.
babushka
2. How is frustration expressed and handled? Why does it cause more frustration?
So the discussions on discord went nowhere and left everyone frustrated. The user side is upset for not being able to have a proper discussion, and the staff side is upset because they feel like they're getting bullied and threatened by the userbase on top of their already high workload. Why did this happen? Why did the discussion about what was supposed to be technical details turn personal? Well, unfortunately, the discussion was ultimately about the user experience, and the user experience is personal, so people have shared their personal opinions. Also, in a chat, people type fast and think fast, so some stuff was said without thinking and got too personal. Thus the frustrations arose that weren't about technical details, but more about the terminology surrounding them, which derailed the discussion to further frustration of everyone. But on top of that, I feel like there was a bunch of narratives that were pushed through the discussion (not by Thell personally mind you, I don't exactly remember who said that and I am not going to put words in Thell's mouth) which just left everyone upset. Here are said narratives.
- Judging someone's art quality. Thell has stated repeatedly both in discord and wf that he specifically doesn't want to define what is an art and what isn't, and if there's good art or bad art. But we still ended up having the debate about art quality at least three consecutive times on discord, all the time with the same people. And some people went as far as just saying something along the lines "sorry but yes I am implying your art is shitty" and we all just had to deal with the fact that the conversation is going in this tone. I am aware that the timeouts were handed out for the rude user, but it was done completely behind the scenes, with no acknowledgement of rude behaviour being unacceptable and with no way for me to even tell that there was a timeout going on, which didn't really make the environment feel more welcoming and polite.
- The greater good of the site. The narrative about "people complaining because they don't understand what's actually good for them and the site" and the suggestions of completely ignoring said complaints "for the greater good" and "because there will always be someone who complains" were encountered multiple times by me. Now, I don't completely disagree with the fact that for every feature there will be people in the world who just aren't satisfied with it. But it also seems kinda weird to me to imply that there's only one certain way for the site to grow, even though the current direction of Waterfall isn't even specified as anything else but "definitely not Tumblr 2.0 also artists". Some sites rely entirely on poorly drawn shitty memes and some sites are for displaying high-quality professional photography. Sites can go in many directions and gain activity in multiple ways. And the weirdest thing to me was in this narrative was the implication that we can sacrifice the needs of existing site users by implementing something that might potentially attract new users. In Russia, we have a saying "a sparrow in the hand is better than a crane in the sky". A crane is a bigger bird, but you don't have it yet, and if you let go of your sparrow to catch a crane, you might lose both.
- Userbase expressing concerns means they hate Thell. But at the same time, I saw a narrative about Thell being "bullied" into implementing featured, being called names, and "threatened" by people who say they are about to leave the site. Now, I haven't seen all the post, I believe there are people who are being purposefully rude to staff which is honestly uncalled for. However, I've mostly observed people expressing constructive criticism politely, and staff side taking the issue with certain words, which felt... Kinda weird? The words "elitist", etc. were thrown around because people were expressing how they've felt and why they are frustrated, and someone saying "you are using elitist language" doesn't equal someone calling you purposefully being elitist, just like people saying "this is ableist language" aren't calling you ableist, and even if they're calling you out on said behaviour in a civil manner, which I've seen most people do, this isn't an insult, this is an opportunity to learn to be more considerate. And people saying they're going to leave the site because a certain thing has left them frustrated... What else are they supposed to do or say? Leave quietly or stay at the site that bothers them because they don't want to offend staff by expressing their frustration in any way at all? Is that a community we want to build? Is there a way to express constructive criticism which is not considered offensive? I honestly have no idea at this point.
- Discord is a great discussion platform. It's not. And still, I saw someone suggesting that the voices of people who don't come to discord because of various valid reasons should just be ignored because they "don't care enough". Don't think there was anyone else backing this point, but I've noticed it and I don't think this is a valid point at all.
In this part of the post, I've talked about the discussion that's happened and the sources of frustration that arose during this discussion.
I am not sure about the third part, going on a little break now.
naiad
Something else worth mentioning is that as much as I do love waterfall it IS kind of lacking in several ways. Like I joined the site over a year ago because one of my best friends was already on here and then I quickly got involved with the community and now I couldn't imagine leaving because of the people who are already here. However if I was looking for a new blogging platform now, and I found waterfall on my own I don't think I would stay. It's kind of a situation where I put up with some of the problems on the site because I really like a lot of the people that are on here a lot.
But the lack of any kind of a quick-reblog is something that's kind of been slightly annoying the whole time I've been here. And sure there are ways to get around it a bit by opening things in other tabs but when I first joined it was something that "was supposed to be fixed in one of the next updates". And whatever it's not a big deal to me.
But it does kind of feel crappy to have been here this whole time and to have to deal with minor inconveniences to keep using the site and then see language about wanting to cater the site to new users instead of trying to make thing better for the people who have been sticking to the site long-term.
The art thing isn't even the big issue for me because I get it's a system problem. It's just kind of like there's a lack of professionalism because it's just one guy running the whole thing and not a company. And while I DO understand how horrifically hard it probably is to run a company it just seems in bad taste to try to make it the fault of the users when things start going down-hill.
thoughtsevery time you stand your ground an angel gets its wings and every time you say no it wields a flaming sword
stopi remember seeing this gifset of Kate McKinnon a long time ago where she was talking about how she used to dress and that she would cut her own hair and stuff and someone asked "but wouldn't you want women to think you looked good?" and she replied "different rules."
and if anyone please could tell me where that was from id be so freaking thankful
stop
ITS BEEN TWO MONTHS AND I FUCKIBG FOUND IT!!
i cant add pics on mobile but if anyones wondering it was her episode of comedians in cars getting coffee
stop
one year later here are the gifs bc i love them
Image Description: H, sitting cross legged, with a hand on their face. They're wearing a grey t-shirt, blue jeans, socks, and a red bracelet. It's captioned "Drawn by Alias, Painted by Honey".
my playlists
emlynluaattempt 2.0 of posting this
ive added descriptions where i think theyre needed
concept - playlists where both the lyrics & vibe are taken into account
villain songs to fuck shit up to
nooo dont be straight ur the love of my life aha
one good honest kiss - boppy gay yearning
lone - sad gay yearning
mmmMMMmMmm - horny yearning
i am looking. i am looking away. - repressed gay yearning
could u be the haw to my yee? - cowboy gay yearning
forest pine - forest themed gay yearning
kneads and wants - bops to contemplate ur life choices to
inhale the steam - calm songs to contemplate ur life choices to
oscar bait - sad songs to contemplate ur life choices to
spoopy
never give them your name - u hate ur life in the village and the fae are calling you away....
they don't like the taste of iron - the fae are harassing u and ruining ur nice life in the village
we all die - but like its chill
body worship - physical touch as transcendent spiritual experience
fangst - ur a vampire in love with a human who doesnt know ur a vampire
wwhat if 🥺 what if we ki 🥺🥺🥺 - the moment before a kiss when ur like both leaning in
running,,,,,from - running playlist but creepy
escape
knife edge - ur a lonely housewife to a rich absent husband, theres no love in ur marriage anymore and youre sneaking around with someone but if ur husband finds out ur in danger....
song of achilles - playlists for the book song of achilles, basic desc given so lowkey spoilers
i was like a fish eyeing the hook - ur in love with the prince but u dont wanna admit it
our bodies cupped each other like hands - finally getting with the guy you love after years of repressed feelings
i would know him in death, at the end of the world
hector's done nothing to me - trying to avoid the prophecy that says youll die even tho you know itll happen eventually
you can use a spear as a walking stick, but that will not change its nature
i would have the memory be worthy of the man
he is half of my soul, as the poets say
there are no bargains between lions and men. i will kill you and eat you raw - killing the man who killed ur lover
there, at last, is his heart - dying after a long time feeling dead inside
i am air and thought and can do nothing - being dead and separated from the man you love
reaching through the hopeless, heavy dusk - finally being reunited in death with the man you love
circe - playlists for the book circe, basic desc given so lowkey spoilers
a thing that looked like a stone, but inside was a seed - prometheus, secret defiance
i was not a part of that dark water. i was a creature within it. - youre different from your abusive family
you threw me to the crows, but i prefer them to you
he was a poison snake, and i was another - and on such terms we pleased ourselves
cold smoke, marked with my name - your actions have caused many ppl to die
a glittering monument to our blood's vain cruelty - pasiphae, ur abusive sister
such a constellation was he to me - daedalus, a doomed and short love affair
a golden cage is still a cage
this is something torn that i can mend - being kind of broken and wanting to fix other ppl to make urself feel better even tho its not healthy
tear down. tear down and build again.
give me the blade - i did it to prove my body was still my own. and did i like what i found?
the spiral shell. always another curve out of sight. - odysseus, loving a man and caring for him knowing that hes gonna return to his wife
a golden witch who had no past at all - a body with no scars, no show of personality or centuries lived
at last i had met the thing the gods could use against me - having a child and loving him so fiercely, knowing that love could be used against you
he was not afraid to be burnt - having a child who is reckless and adventurous, being afraid for him
a cold eternity of endless grief - being immortal, knowing everyone you love will die while you continue living
a fixed star. a woman who knew herself. - penelope
and when you count your children, leave me out - a final fuck you to ur abusive family, taking ur freedom by force
it was so simple. if you want it, i will do it. if it would make you happy, i will go with you
of course my flesh reached for the earth. that is where it belongs. - mortality
scene - playlists taking into account vibes only
fight scene >:^) - generic fight scene, medium stakes
fight scene ,':^) - fight scene to have fun with, low stakes, first fight scene of second film or season showing characters skill or introduction of powerful character
fight scene >:^0 - high stakes, side character just got wounded or smthn, final push to beat the antagonist
fight scene ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) - fight scene with sexual tension, could become a sex scene with no change in music
fight scene D^': - fight scene the protagonist loses
11pm
xxx - sexy songs
gold - songs for a hazy summer evening
glitter - songs that sound sparkly
shits real - the build up to the Big Fight, protagonist is getting ready, realising their own power
oh god oh no oh god oh shit - you thought you had a solution to all ur problems but it wasnt real and ur gonna have to sacrifice urself fuck
wheel of the year
deities
nature - mainly vibes but also lyrics
theme - lyrics taken into account, not vibes
hmc - howls moving castle
apocalypse
cuppa - cup of tea
historish - songs that feature historical figures but no historical accuracy
solarpunk
pyrophoric - songs abt fire
beep boop - digital futuristic
void - songs abt space
waves - songs abt the sea
gremlincore
Here's for my most controversial post yet
babushkaI really don't get why people are getting mad at other people for voting in elections.
"Voting does nothing since two parties are equally bad and the elections are going to be rigged so the bad guys will win anyway no matter what" - well, duh. But what does boycotting vote do? Unless there is a massive nationwide boycott and the number of voters isn't enough to pronounce the election results legitimate, I really don't see what boycotting does.
"Just do mutual aid or go to protests instead, it will do more than a vote ever did anyway" - how is voting contradictory with any of that? You can go vote and then go to a protest, right? I really don't see the problem...
"Change isn't won by voting" Change can be achieved by a collective of people making an effort to bring the change, to demand the change. It takes a colossal amount of work and sacrifice which is sadly historically proven. Of course, the government won't magically become just as soon as you tick that box in the ballot, and there is no "kind tsar" who will come to the "throne" and magically fix everything singlehandedly as you vote for him. But the effort put in voting is an effort too, it's the first step of recognizing that "politics" isn't something that's happening far away, affecting virtually no one and being none of your business. There are still people who haven't moved past that attitude.
"If voting changed anything it would be illegal" It will be! It will be! Vote while you can/if you can! Because there are people out there who wish to have this "useless" right to vote but don't have it!
emlynlua
While I do agree with the arguments you're making, I think this sort of misses the point of a lot of those posts.
Disclaimer: I am not discouraging people from voting. I am honestly neutral on this issue. I don't believe people are malicious for not voting, but I do believe that if you are able then it is a good thing to do. There are times when I have voted, and times when I haven't.
I have Never seen a post that is actually encouraging a boycott, more just explaining why it isn't some kind of all important moral imperative to vote. I can understand how someone could misunderstand these posts when they don't see the context of the person behind them, but a lot of the ones that have many notes with rebuttals etc are very short and don't fully explain their points. Partially because these people get so frustrated at having to explain themselves over and over and leave stuff out, and partially because the shorter posts are the ones more people will read and respond to. With these popular posts you're getting an incomplete picture of what are really very complex issues.
I also wanna address your points individually.
- "two parties are equally bad" - to reiterate, they're not saying everyone should boycott because of this. They're explaining that they're not evil for not voting for the milder flavour of bigot. This isn't coming from privileged people, as many of the rebuttals claim, but from minorites who are gonna get screwed over either way.
- "mutual aid or protests" - this is a really key point actually that I don't see discussed much but the idea that you can do both is not entirely true. Every election season most people who are in activist circles suddenly shift their focus to voting. This means that every election season anyone who is relying on mutual aid finds that it's suddenly gone. Nothing can be funded or organised because money and energy is going into campaigning for the election instead. This is frustrating for the people who, again, are gonna get screwed over no matter the result.
- "change isn't won by voting" - while I do agree with you that voting is at least participating in politics, the people who make these posts are more addressing people who think that voting is the be all end all of participation. The people who think politics doesn't affect them aren't gonna be making 3k essays online about why they don't vote, they don't care that much. The people making these posts recognise that change takes tremendous effort and sacrifice, and they're already doing that. They're making these posts not because they don't care about politics, but because they do care, and they want other people to care too, beyond voting.
- "if voting changed anything it would be illegal" - this is more of a cynical statement than a call for a boycott. But the people who are making these posts aren't the people for whom voting is easy. Even when it's legal to vote, voter suppression is very real. When I last voted it took me 20 minutes. The polling station was 5 minutes from the house, there was no queue since there are plenty of polling stations, and I wasn't in work so I didn't have to fit it around a schedule. That is a very privileged position to be in. The election before that I couldn't vote because I wasn't near a polling station and couldn't afford transport. Voting now, with my health the way it is, I would need a postal vote. I would have to remember to get it in time (which is not easy, with ADHD brain), fill it out, remember to send it off in time, have the strength to walk to the post box.... and so on. Still, I am in a privileged position compared to many of the people who make these posts. Having to wait in line for almost an entire day, having bosses who would rather break the law than let their employees miss a shift to vote, having to travel far to a polling station with no money, having to balance some of this and children, or university, or disability. The people who make these posts are not the privileged people for whom voting takes 20 minutes. They are the people for whom voting is actually very difficult, and they have learned through experience that it does little for their communities, and that their energy is better spent on mutual aid and other activism.
I do want to reiterate that your points aren't exactly wrong, but I do believe that they are a misrepresentation of what people actually mean when they say these things, and why they say it.
babushka
Excellent insight, thank you so much for providing context! I was kind of writing based on overall impression from both Russia and America, and i honestly wasn't aware that the pressure to vote can even exist. (I saw a meme of a dude with a "vote or die" T shirt but i kind of assumed he was the only one...) The attitude i saw was along the lines "voting doesn't get anyone anywhere anyway" which kind of weirded me out. And I forgot to post my answer to an anon which would have described the Russian side of this situation. Im gonna do this if i won't fall asleep.
There is something i've failed to add to my original post but failed to formulate and i think i got it now:
No one should go around and harass a person who hasn't (or has) voted and say that the current state of politics is somehow their individual fault.
What i mean is: saying stuff like "your kind voted for a big evil so in am gonna blame you personally" (even if you don't know who they voted for) or "you didn't vote and let the bad guy win" (even though the good guy won the popular vote, and it's the system's fault) doesn't get anyone anywhere and is just mean.
babushka
addition: i do actually see people writing essays about how they are specifically not going to vote because they are above everything and not once mentioning anything they wanna do/try to archieve instead of voting, but not in America though
film photography
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lol I'm still bent out of shape about that time a server owner said I was being rude for setting a boundary publicly even after I said I didn't feel safe doing it privately
and it's been at least a month or two
I'm debating copying over a thread of tweets that Roman (a headmate) made earlier about Homestuck and June Egbert, because it's really good, simply put, and puts the feelings of people ahead of slinging buzzwords around.
And it's sitting in my head and the only person to interact with it there, gave it literally no useful thought at all. Just called it meaningless because it didn't have all those buzzwords. And I know it is good.
But also shit is controversial. Please let me know your thoughts? I don't want to waste the effort/spoons.